Amanda arrives home from dropping off her kids to school. She has a boy, Liam, 11 and a girl, Emma, 9.
She now has the next 5 hours to herself.
She’ll head to the gym, have coffee afterward with her Moms group, then off to get groceries and other essentials; and then she’ll head home to get things organized for dinner.
That’s on top of housework, laundry and cleaning out the cat’s litter box.
A typical day in the life of a busy Mom.
Amanda thinks how much easier it is now that her kids are in school. She can get so much more done in her day.
She remembers when her kids were very young and they were with her 24/7.
She still had to get everything done and between keeping them entertained, fed, down for naps, up from naps and into their car seats, out of their car seats, so she could do her shopping, her days would fly by like a blur. She rarely had time to sit down and put her feet up.
Now her kids are older and for 5 hours a day, they are looked after by their school 🙂
She kind of misses those days. Having her kids with her all the time gave her a clear sense of purpose.
Now they’re older and they’ve become much more self-sufficient.
Like clockwork, she knows she’ll be back at the school at 2:30 pm to pick them up. Then it will be quick snacks and off to their after-school activities.
Amanda is used to her routine and she takes pride in being a good Mom. Her family is her priority and more often than not, she puts their needs ahead of her own.
She tells herself that’s what a good stay-at-home Mom does.
But as much as Amanda enjoys being a stay-at-home Mom, she’s starting to feel a bit restless.
Her days seem longer now and at times she feels lonely and isolated while her kids are in school.
She craves connection and adult conversation.
Sure, she sees her Mom friends a couple of times a week, but she’s finding their conversations always revolve around the same topics: kids, husbands and vacations.
She would just love to talk about something else. Maybe even learn something new.
It’s also been a long time since they had a vacation.
Money is tight and it’s Amanda’s job to watch their budget.
She and her husband, Tim, agreed that it would be best if Amanda stayed home with the kids while they were young.
She’s starting to feel that maybe it’s a luxury they can’t afford.
Tim’s an electrician and a hard worker. He puts in very long hours, but even with that they seem to be slowly falling behind and the bills keep piling up.
Amanda would love to be able to buy new clothes for herself and her kids, but she holds off. She makes due with what they have.
She loves imagining the things she would be able to buy if she was bringing-in even a small income.
It would help to take some of the financial pressure off her family and maybe they would have enough for new clothes and a nice vacation.
That’s when Amanda hits her wall of resistance . . .
She feels conflicted.
She’s made looking after the needs of her family her priority and she worries that going back to work would take away from that.
She tells herself that it will be easier to go back to work when the kids are out of school, but she knows they need more income now – not later.
Amanda’s not alone. Some of the other Moms in her group are wrestling with the same issue.
The only Mom in their group who has managed to do it all is Jennifer – and she has four kids!
Everyone likes Jennifer. She is the group’s “Super Mom”. She doesn’t make a big deal about what she does. She’s always busy, still makes time for their weekly coffees and she seems perpetually happy.
While the rest of the Moms struggle to get through their days, Jennifer always seems calm and content.
They all wonder, how does Jennifer do it?
Amanda worries that if she was to go back to work, the only career she might enjoy would require she work full time, or she would have to go back to school for years, for re-training.
She didn’t like either option 🙁
She had made a commitment to be there for her family and she loved knowing her kids would have the security and comfort of seeing their Mom at the end of their school day.
The thought of turning her kids into “latch key” kids made her feel sad.
Amanda had heard of other Moms who tried to solve the “what should I do for work” dilemma, by starting a business from their homes.
She heard many horror stories.
Some Moms did home parties for whatever was the newest trend and others became network marketers, selling vitamins, supplements and essential oils.
It turned into a nightmare for them . . .
It had all sounded good in the beginning. They could work from home, on their own schedule and make lots of money.
After annoying all their friends and family, none of them made any money.
They described it as “get rich slowly” :p
In fact, Amanda received this article from one of her friends. It shows how 99% of the people who become network marketing distributors make no money and they can even end up deep in debt!
Amanda feels at a complete loss as to what she should do.
She’s afraid to make the wrong decision, and as a result, she makes no decision. The bills keep piling up and her family keeps falling further behind 🙁
She feels stuck, stressed-out and unhappy.
She knows that Jennifer doesn’t do home parties or sell vitamins and essential oils.
She’s understands it’s something to do with massage and wellness and it’s obviously working for her.
Whatever it is, Amanda wants what Jennifer has.
Amanda decided to call-up Jennifer and see if they could meet for coffee. She wanted to pick her brain.
They got together a few days later and Amanda told Jennifer all the challenges she was going through and how conflicted she felt about going back to work.
She asked Jennifer if she would be willing to share how she was able to have it all – a job she loved and the flexibility to ensure she could still take care of her family.
Jennifer was flattered and a little taken aback.
Amanda was the first Mom from their group to ever ask her how she got her job doing chair massage; and she was happy to help Amanda any way she could.
Amanda was struggling to find a way to make an income and still fulfill her role as a stay-at-home Mom, while Jennifer was thriving in her career in chair massage and she was still able to fully look after her family with four kids and a husband.
Amanda knew that if she wanted to have a life like Jennifer’s, she was going to have to be willing to commit to a transformation.
That was the key.
Let’s take a closer look at Amanda, at Jennifer and what’s required to make the transformation.
But before we do . . .
The Call to Adventure (Prerequisite: Step 1)
This is what Jennifer told Amanda:
The first step is choosing “your call to adventure” and deciding you can have both – a part-time career and the ability to continue being there for your family.
It’s a choice.
Do it or don’t do it.
Some stay-at-home Moms struggle with this conflict and wait until their kids are fully grown and out of school before they consider going back to work.
Choosing to have a career in something you love, while you’re still looking after the needs of your family is not a role for every stay-at-home Mom.
It requires the willingness to balance your two desires: looking after yourself, so you can be better at looking after your family.
Most stay-at-home Moms are content to focus their efforts strictly on their family knowing that they’ll only be in that role until their kids graduate.
That’s important too.
But if you’re finding that you are becoming restless, with time on your hands and you want a way to make a good income, on a schedule that works for you, then the only decision you can make is your “call to adventure”.
It’s challenging, but you accept this.
Lean into it.
For 15 years, at Integra College, we have trained, coached and guided 363 stay-at-home Moms to have a fun, flexible and great-paying part-time career in chair massage.
The best way to describe the process each of our stay-at-home Moms went through, to feel re-inspired and re-invigorated, is they went on their own version of the “Hero’s Journey”.
This is the phrase coined by Joseph Campbell in his book “The Hero With a Thousand Faces”.
The stay-at-home Moms we’ve trained to become Certified Chair Massage Providers have realized they can have it all.
They can have a part-time career that is fun and meaningful, they can make great money for themselves and their families, they can have the inner satisfaction knowing they’re making a big difference for their clients; and ultimately, they can do all this “and” still ensure they have the schedule flexibility to look after the needs of their families.
Stay-at-home Moms are master organizers and master schedulers, so it just takes you making the conscious decision to work toward having the life you want.
This short video sums up the Hero’s Journey (start here):
Amanda and Jennifer are the two “types” of stay-at-home Moms we see most often in our Quick Start Chair Massage program.
In order for Amanda to become like Jennifer, she needs to go through her own version of the Hero’s Journey:
If this is you, it’s time to look closer at Amanda.
Amanda is likely to represent you right now; if not entirely, certainly a close enough match to make you feel uncomfortable as you read this.
Meet Amanda (Stay-at-home Mom #1)
Amanda’s demographics (the outside facing characteristics like age and income and job title, etc.) aren’t important.
Demographics are too limiting.
Psychographics, the inside characteristics, like personality, dreams, fears, desires, etc. (the yellow color below), are what matters:
It was psychographics that motivated Amanda to want a lifestyle life like Jennifer had.
One thing that was holding Amanda back from having the life she wanted was the concern that having a meaningful career would mean she would be forced to make a “trade off”.
She thought the only way she could go back to work, doing something she loved, would require that she work “full time” OR she could stay as she was looking after her family and not working.
She wasn’t seeing there might be a compromise that could give her the best of both worlds.
Having spent years at home with her kids, Amanda knew she didn’t want a full-time career – at least not for many years.
She also didn’t like the idea of having to go to school for 2 to 4 years to get a degree or trade ticket.
She knew she couldn’t afford tens of thousands of dollars in school tuition and she didn’t want to have to wait years to be fully qualified in her new career.
She wanted to make income now.
When she came to the realization that what she really wanted was a flexible, part-time career she could enjoy and would give her the flexibility to keep looking after her family, that’s when it hit her.
Meet Jennifer again (Stay-at-home Mom #2)
Jennifer operates entirely differently than Amanda.
Jennifer has a clear sense of purpose and direction.
She’s doing work she loves and she knows she’s making her client’s lives better.
She feels she has the perfect life balance as a Mom.
She’s determined the part of her schedule she’ll make available for her chair massage work (10 am to 2 pm), and that work schedule ensures that she’ll always be there to take her kids to school and be there when they get out at 2:30 pm.
It means she has to be even more organized and efficient to get everything done, but it’s amazing where you find the energy and motivation when you’re doing work that inspires you and pays you well!
Jennifer has the full support of her husband and her kids are happy and well looked after.
One of her initial fears never materialized.
She worried her kids might have a hard time adjusting to her going back to work. In fact, the opposite happened. They saw that nothing changed in their schedule and they became happier knowing their Mom was happier.
That was a very pleasant surprise for Jennifer and reinforced the fact she had made the right decision.
The extra income Jennifer makes has made a big difference and it’s allowed her family to enjoy the extras.
Yes, she’s busy, but because it’s a schedule of her own choosing, it feels effortless.
Travel is something Jennifer and her family look forward to; and with her chair massage work, she makes extra income to pay for two big trips a year!
They’re all looking forward to their next trip to Disneyland – courtesy of Jennifer’s income as a Certified Chair Massage Provider!
Unlike Amanda, Jennifer has embraced the fact that she can do work that makes her happy and she can still be fully present for the needs of her family.
Amanda believed that having a career and looking after her family were two competing options. She could have one, but not the other.
She wasn’t aware there might be a work option that could fit perfectly into the block of time, when her kids were in school; and it would enable her to make a great income and feel like she was connecting with people
Getting a chance to meet with Jennifer was a big help.
She knew Jennifer was a super successful Mom and she was also doing work she enjoyed.
She may not fully understand what Jennifer does, but she knows that whatever it is, it seems to be working well for her.
In order for Amanda to be willing to have the life Jennifer has, she needs to be willing to take the first step on her “call to adventure”.
She has to believe that she deserves to have a meaningful part-time career and if she’s prepared to do what it takes, she can have a great income, the satisfaction of doing work that matters and she’ll ultimately be a better Mom to her kids.
Jennifer made a choice.
She wasn’t prepared to just be at home while her kids were at school.
She wanted to have a part-time career doing something she loved and she was good at. She also wanted the opportunity to make extra income for herself and her family.
Jennifer has designed a work schedule that perfectly matches the times her kids are in school.
Jennifer was never interested in going back to school for four years to get a degree, or start a career where she would be obliged to work full time.
That didn’t work for her.
Instead, she chose a part-time career in chair massage that only took her 30 days to become completely trained and certified.
Now she works Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday, from 10 am to 2 pm.
Just the right amount of time to still be there for her kids.
There is no quick fix to having a part-time career in massage and wellness.
There’s only a determined way, with hard work and inevitable challenges.
Lean into it, because it’s the only way to push through the invisible wall that separates Amanda from Jennifer.
If you’re like Amanda and want to transform to be like Jennifer, we can help with that. Or if you’re already like Jennifer, but want to move to the next level, we can help with that, too.
If we can’t help, we’ll tell you, and point you in the best direction. We don’t have all the answers. And what we have definitely isn’t for every stay-at-home Mom, or even for many.
What we have here is for the committed few, who choose to enroll in the journey and do hard the work.
If you’ve enjoyed what you’ve read so far, let’s continue the conversation.
Click the button below and we’ll show you how we help stay-at-home Moms who are at the “Amanda Stage” move to the “Jennifer Stage”.
We’ll tell you all about the part-time career Jennifer chose and the process she went through to train and become established in her part-time chair massage career.
We’ve trained, coached and guided 363 stay-at-home Moms to achieve the part-time career they want and need.
If you’re ready to begin your “call to adventure” and become like Jennifer, we’ll show you how.
Bob Hanley & Kathy Bell – Integra College
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